Who am i
Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt
Who am I, that the bright and morning Star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart
Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are
I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
A vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours
Who Am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love
and watch me rise again
Who Am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me
whom shall i fear
whom shall i fear
i am yours
Happenings
Saturday, July 30, 2005
-7:53 AM
Finally, im going to talk about my poly friends. My friend was just complaining to me that day that he doesn't know anyone im talking about in my blog, haha. i have a bunch of simple, down-to-earth, upright friends. Well, my clique comprises of 4 girls and 2, sometimes 3, guys. Wei Jia is the only on-fire-for-God christian in my class, in my clique. He's the only person whom i can freely talk about God to. Liting just reminds me of Wenhui, my friend of 10 years. Her attitude is just so similar to Wenhui, so I felt very comfortable with her the moment I met her. Well, but i told myself that I don't want her to remind me of anyone, i just want her to remind me of herself, because God made her to be unique! She's a really sweet person, forever putting others before self. Xinni is an older sis to me, she has a very motherly personality (this is a compliment!). She is gentle and constantly there to help me when i was lost in school. Well, she has a serious and diligent attitude towards her studies which never fails to spur me on in my own studies. Xiaoqi is like the little chatterbox is our group, she's very smiley and brings joy to those around her. Everytime i think of her, i would see a picture of a girl with straight rebonded hair smiling. Jessie may not be very talkative but without her, everything doesn't seem the same. She would always take the initiative to take worksheets for us and she's really hardworking. I remember that she once told me that she felt like crying because she couldn't understand what the teacher said. Lastly, Chen ming is my didi. He has a really cute personality, he behaves and reacts in very unique ways unlike how people would normally behave. He is really funny, but also knows when to be serious. So, i thank God for all of them. Indeed, they are angels sent from Heaven and I pray that they would go back to Heaven too. I prayed really hard for good friends in poly and God heard my prayer. Thank you Father!!!
-7:29 AM
I see that many of us have alot to thank God for, this week. Yesterday during cell meeting, most of us were recounting the many blessings that we've received. Just like what Kah Wan said, there is too many things to thank God for that it'll take 3 days. God is great! This week i got back my results for all my tests and by God's grace, i had As for all my tests!!! Isn't God awesome?!!! How true it is when Pastor Dominic said that we just have to be diligent in whatever we do and God will prosper us, because God wants to prosper His children. During my study break week i wasn't at home studying the whole day, unlike some of my friends. I went out to celebrate friends' birthdays and attend church meetings, yet God really blessed me. Compared to my friends, i really thought that they deserved to get more marks than me for their hard work. Yesterday we read Psalm 40 and i want to highlight one verse: "Many, O Lord my God, are the wonders you have done. The things you planned for us no one can recount to you; were I to speak and tell of them, they would be too many to declare." (Psalm 40:5). But when God blesses us, it is for His Glory. If we want to boast, let us boast in the Lord! Thank you Daddy!!!
Thursday, July 28, 2005
-8:27 PM
Upon the request of my very good friend Shu-en, i shall now officially say who I like... it's a guy. Haha, i must say i think we are really meant to be together man, we keep meeting each other!!! We're childhood friends (so cool right??!!) and i like him cos he always listens to me. i think sometimes i don't even give him the chance to talk, hehe. Well, surprisingly, he is the only person whom ill listen to all the time, a very respected figure in my church. Sometimes he'll scold me when im doing something wrong and sometimes i argue with him too when i cant understand why things are the way it is. And he has the best voice I've ever heard man, soft and sweet, a little like mine, haha. Im very sure that over the years i love him more and more, i think he knows that, cos he told me he loves me too!!!! Anyway, he's always so kind to me and always there to give me the support i need. I think without him, i wouldn't be who i am today because he really played an awesome role in my life. Wondering who he is??? He's in the same school as me now...
Tuesday, July 26, 2005
-2:42 AM
Dear Ng Jin, i really thank God for placing you into this cell, into this church. You're a gift from God. May you grow to love the Lord more and more every week. It is my prayer that one day you'll bloom into a woman after God's own heart and be an inspiration and blessing to your peers. Although you only joined us recently, we really welcome you into our family!!! Enjoy your 12th birthday and God bless. WE ALL LOVE YOU!!!Love, Eliz Thia
Friday, July 22, 2005
-11:02 PM
Norman and I
Love cope: Community work in Bible SchoolSomehow, prayer meeting on Wed seemed to be aligned with the verse God placed in my heart for Prayer and Intercession last Sun, in Teens. "Let the little children come to me..." Mark 10:14. Yes, i like kids alot but i never thought God would want me to reach out to them. Somehow, with God's divine appointment, i find myself constantly working with kids. This picture was taken on my last day with these kids(Pri 2). I was supposed to tuition Angeline (extreme left) only, but i ended up tuitioning 3 more children at the same time. See the whiteboard at the side? That's where we had our spelling competition every week and the whole room would be super noisy. The noise came from the proud ("I know, i know!!") and from the heavily-burdened ("How to spell?"). Many of us need to get that spark from children. Their innocence, their child-like faith, their sincerity, their joyfulness, their simple-mindedness... In the midst of this hustle and bustle of life, we have to learn from children to be contented with life; to turn our sorrows into joy; to dwell in the positive. "I tell u the truth, unless you change and become like little children, u will never enter the kingdom of Heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of Heaven" Matt 18:3-4. Perhaps I might serve in my church's JC club after all- children's character-building!
The "B" gang: Baldie, Birdie, Buddy
This is my vjc clique. i just felt like uploading their picture. I hope that they can see their pic up here, i miss them man. Our class was busking in the Orchard underpass earlier this year. Unique experience.
-9:47 AM
Well, as I make more friends i realise i begin to forget my other friends' birthdays. There's just too many to remember and yet they mean so much to me. Anyway, Sumei you're finally 20!!! May you continue to grow in the wisdom and favour of the Lord and be more Christ-like. I miss u hugging me and i miss huggin u cos u're so small and huggable, haha. Im sure you'll enjoy yourself this year cos there's US to celebrate for you!!! Your voice is so sweet and u're so affectionate. Haiz, i also miss those times when i used your head as a microphone, HAHA!!! i really thank God for you cos you're such a blessing to me. Though you're older than me, you're the only senior person whom i feel i can talk to as a friend. I really admire your open and honest personality, you are just so transparent about your life, about relationships etc, I pray that I'll be like you too. God bless you Jie Jie Sumei, haha, i miss u very much!!!Love,Birdy
Thursday, July 21, 2005
-8:39 PM
Finally, my tests are all over, thank you Lord! ok, this week was a really eventful week, but ill just highlight a few. This wed, something really funny happened, and i still keep laughing when i think back of it, haha. I overslept and was late for prayer meeting, so i rushed to wear my slippers and went off to church. i was just thinking how come my slippers felt funny today. it wasn't until i reached church and took off my slippers that i realised i was wearing my brother's slipper on 1 side and my own slipper on the other!!!!! No wonder the commuters in the bus kept staring at me. Both slippers were black just that the strap of my brother's slipper was grey and mine was blue and it was so much bigger than my own!!! haha, i can't believe it man... Next, we were singing this song(forgot the title already) and went to this part "shake the Heavens and the Earth"... and u know what???!!! the plastic barriers surrounding the drum set fell!!!!!!! so divine man!!
I pray that more people would come for prayer meetings and be intercessors for the Lord, it's so wonderful just to hear God speak and speak to Him too. In Numbers, Aaron stood in the gap between the living and the dead when God struck His people with a plague and people stopped dying. If we dont continue praying and intercessing for the lost in Singapore, God's wrath will be poured out one day because there's so much evil. If only our church people would really know the great importance of prayer, now there's only Shu-en and I coming for prayer meetings because we want to see a great change taking place in our cell group, in our ministry... in Singapore. And we NEVER want to stop!
I read this book and there's this little extract on prayer, ill just summarise it and use my own words cos it's rather long:
I always said to Will: "Will, are u ready for prayer?" and Will said: "Ever ready!!" But each time we started to set off, Emotions would start complaining: "Don't count me in ah, im not in the mood to go." I didn't care, i just dragged them allll the way to church. Was prayer meeting fun?? NO, it was a fight all the way, Emotions just wouldn't cooperate man...
This continued for a while until one day...
Again, I said to Will: "Hey Will, are u ready for prayer?" and Will said: "Ever so ready!!" Will and I were pressing into the throne of Heaven and suddenly........ The chief emotion shouted: "Hallelujah!!!" and the rest of the emotions shouted:" Amen!" From then on, prayer meetings were coool man!!!
Recently, Shu and I dreamt of the same person and it was a nightmare! Both of us had this creepy feeling in our dreams and interestingly, i could remember the dream very clearly. Although both dreams were different, the message behind both of our dreams was that this person was in trouble. So we prayed for her. I don't know yet what's happening in this person's life right now, but we're surely going to find out. See, God reveals secrets of people to you when you pray and seek God's heart. Amen!
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
-12:00 AM
haha, actually i typed this entry on Mon because i wouldn't have time to type it on Wed. I just changed the date of this entry. Anyway, i know you won't even have time to see this before your birthday. Ok, HAPPY BIRTHDAY MR BACON, this entry is specially for you. Mr Bacon is my brother in Christ, real name is Goh Wenkai (See, i didn't forget, haha). He has been a great friend to me in Bible school, always joking around and teasing people. He may look like an ah beng, but he does not behave like one. One outstanding factor about him is that in the midst of his funny, jovial nature, he is very serious about God and very passionate for Him. I feel that his life is a life of faith, because God is always there to help him whenever he requires it, it's amazing how God answers his prayers. See, i said so many nice things about you, now you know how kind I am??!!! haha, continue to be faithful to God in everything and He will grant you your heart's desires. I pray that God will bless you with more of His divine wisdom so that you'll be like a well over-flowing with living waters. May you be used mightily by God for worship too! Enjoy your 24th birthday this year and sorry that we cannot celebrate your birthday on your actual day.From,
Birdy
Sunday, July 17, 2005
-12:00 AM
haha, surprised to see your name down here???? You are now 17 years old, just like me, so young right!!! Well, i really thank God for you, 7 years of friendship man and im still counting the years. It's amazing that in these 7 years that I've known you, your life has changed so drastically, 1 outstanding fact is of course you converting from a buddhist to become God's child. Your life is a great testimony to others, continue to speak of God's goodness in your life. Do not be afraid but be assured that God is holding on so tightly to you even in your darkest hours. You are a miracle child man! And it's by God's grace that He allowed our paths to meet. You are always so full of jokes, always jumping around, always doing "clever" things in class and i still remember alot of things that you did in class and in choir. May the joy of the Lord be your strength. Blessed birthday, Yoke Shan, i love you!!!! * so mushy* ( But i had to let go alot of my pride just to write these words k!!) haha, oh, and 1 more thing.... you are very very very BEAUTIFUL in my sight because of your Christ-like character in you.
Saturday, July 16, 2005
-6:22 AM
OK, well, due to a HIGH DEMAND of people telling me to update my blog, i shall just grant them their request, haha. Something funny happened this Wednesday after prayer meeting. Shu en and i were having supper at Selegie and their was this man standing infront of us. Apparently, he was wearing a suit and looked really smart, anyone could tell that he just came back from work. His friend was standing behind us. He shouted to his friend "Ni yao chi se me?" (what do you want to eat) and guess wat!!!???? Shu en went to reply him "err, wo yao chi..." !!!!!! AHAHAHHA!!!!!! The guy looked so shocked when she replied, i really cannot believe i have such a friend man. i mean... look at the great contrast!!! Im just so matured and civilised and ...haha, ok, im just joking.
On "mommy's" birthday, sumei, shu and i went to bake a cake for her. Well, i considered it a failure because it was too sweet!!!! and the chocolate frosting did not even freeze so the strawberries were ice-skating on the top of the cake. However, i really had a great time baking that cake and we kept comforting ourselves that this cake was made out of love, haha.
My week had been exciting, and all good things come from God. Thank you Father!!! When you have the Lord living in you, everyday i just a joy!!! How true it is that "this is the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it", remmeber God in everything you do!
-12:00 AM
Dear Canice, may you hunger after God and be ever so fervent for Him. Grow in wisdom and stature and in favour with God and men. Don't let anyone despise your youth, instead, I pray that you'll be that light house who will shine forth God's glory. Continue to be bubbly and spread God's joy around. Once again, blessed birthday to YOU!!! You have been a great blessing to me!!
Love,
Eliz
Thursday, July 14, 2005
-6:26 AM
Firstly... thank you Father for today, im really so grateful! ok, today i SUCCESSFULLY brought my grandma to my church's healing room. When you do something for the Lord, there's always opposition from the enemy and you just know you're walking in the right way. In the afternoon, my dad's car broke down, which meant that he could not fetch my grandma to church. Never mind, then came a call from my grandma. She didn't feel like going to church cos she felt weak. I'll go on to that later. Before that, my mum called my grandma to invite her to be healed (after much pestering from me). Amazingly, my grandma said "what time?" ...!!!! (i think God turned my mum's unbelief to belief). My mum just couldn't believe it!! God is great, He killed 2 birds with 1 stone, haha. Anyway, yah, i managed to still convince my grandma to come to church. Shu and I started worshipping God, this is a spiritual war that we're gonna win man!! In church, when they prayed for her, a word was released that they saw an image of "guan yin"... my grandma went to pray to this god just 2 days ago!!! She was amazed because these people who prayed for her don't know her at all. Through this experience, God has challenged my faith and increased it. I find it so amazing that even when problems started setting in, i was just so calm and i just knew God would do something unexpected, there was this unbelieveable faith in me. My mum and I would be bringing my grandma to church every week now. Father, you sure are cool man!! Keep praying people and have patience, God knows what He's doing. Have faith in God and keep tuned in with Him, don't let your faith waver by setting your eyes on the problems. Nothing's impossible with God. May this entry be an encouragement to all of you.. don't give up cos the end is still not here.
Wednesday, July 13, 2005
-9:48 AM
I have been praying everyday for my grandma, that she'll know the Lord. On tue she came to my house and she looked so weary and tired, very unlike the energetic and vibrant grandma whom i know. She was coughing rather badly(thbis has been going on for 3 WEEKS!!) and anyone could tell that she's with flu or some illness.. yet.. all the doctors she had seen said that she has no illness, nothing was wrong... It just seemed like such a good time to tell her about God, my Father. But she doesn't want to hear about Him. She was going to the temple to pray about her illness later. I told her straight in the face "Na ge shen mei you yong de", meaning that that god couldn't help her, and no apologies for saying that. She didn't get angry but replied that if buddha could not help her, she would go to my church to be prayed for. I know who can save her and i love her very much... if only she would open up her heart to Him. I went to my room and just asked God what to do and trying so hard not to let anyone see that i was tearing. Can you all feel the urgency of the hour???? I DO!!!!! It seems like my grandma is very weak already and going out of this world soon. Only God can save her. If only she knew that God is just next to her... waiting for her to say "Come into my heart, Father". Why is it as if I feel Im the only one who cares for her??? And what can i do??? I just feel so helpless but I know that everything is possible with God. Daddy, please please please write her name in Your Book of Life before she departs from this Earth because she means so much to me and even more to You. Please all pray for my Grandma too, that she'll receive Christ soon. I pray that all of you may have the compassion for the lost too. And this is my prayer, Lord that by faith, she'll be a Child of God. Amen.
-12:09 AM
(A girl with her dad)We rode into town the other day, just me and my Daddy. He said I’d finally reached that age, and I could ride next to him on a horse that of course was not quite as wideWe heard a crowd of people shouting and so we stopped to find out why There was that man that my dad said he loved, but today there was fear in his eyes (Girl asks Dad)So I said Daddy why are they screaming? Why are the faces of some of them beaming? Why is he dressed in that bright purple robe? I bet that crown hurts him more than he shows Daddy please can’t you do something? He looks as if he’s going to cry You said he is stronger than all of those guysDaddy please tell me why, why does everyone want him to die? Later that day the sky grew cloudy and daddy said I should go inside Somehow he knew things would get stormy, boy was he right But I could not keep from wondering if there was something that he had to hide So after he left I had to find out, I was not afraid of getting lost So I followed the crowds to a hill where I knew men had been killed And I heard a voice come from a cross: (Jesus on the cross)And it said : Father why are they screaming.Why are the faces of some of them beaming?Why are they casting their lots for my clothes?? This crown of thorns hurts me more than it showsFather please can’t you do something? I know that you must hear my cry I thought I could handle a cross of this size, Father remind me why, why does everyone want me to die.When will I understand why? (God)My precious Son, I hear them screaming. I’m watching the face of the enemy beaming but soon I will clothe you in robes of my own. Jesus this hurts me more than you knowBut this dark hour I must do nothing. I’ve heard your unbearable crythe power in your blood destroys all the lies, soon you’ll see past their unmerciful eyes. Look there below see the child trembling by her father’s side. Now I can tell you why, she is why you must die." Who is this song talking about?? The one who died on that cross was my bestest best friend. It's none other than Jesus. All of us nailed him to that cross, because we have all sinned. Sin is murder, sin is lying, sin is being selfish... wonder where does all these sins go to? 2 possibilities: Either it stays with you until you die, or it has been forgiven and you go to Heaven. 1 thing's for sure-You can't go to Heaven with sin in you. The price of sin is death. Jesus took all the sin upon himself and died for on our behalf. His blood has paid the price(death) already because He loves us!! Believe in Him...
Monday, July 11, 2005
-7:18 AM
i shall dedicate this entry to my "mommy", from Bible school. How many of us can have 2 mothers man, and im just so thankful that God gave me a 2nd mother. She's someone who really reflects Jesus in her life. Full of servant-leadership and affection for us. Every morning when i studied in TLBC (bible school), she would fetch us from our house's bus-stop and every journey is like a roller coaster ride, cos she drives very "safely".. but i really enjoyed it man!! i also remembered the time when she took the last rubbish in the dustbin out when eveyrone didn't dare to do it. The thing that strunk me most was when she made this luo han guo drink for us (she stayed up till 2am just to make it) because most of us were losing our voices or falling ill. Even after 3 months of Tungling was over and when Eugene fell ill during teens camp, she drove all the way to church to send him to see a doctor.. and even paid for his medical fees (it cost $70 because it was after midnight). That's what I call a heart of Jesus. God is great because He let me meet people who would challenge me to be someone greater. We should all pray for such friends too, because we would not really know who Jesus is unless we see someone who loves Jesus more than us. Then can we be more like Him. and there's still more!!! She would hug and kiss me everyday after school (i still rmb that i blushed the first time she did that) just to show that she cared. She taught me that we should not withhold good things from people in case you don't see them anymore. Also, the first few days i was in TL, she taught me not to say "stupid pig" (suddenly, you all don't hear these words anymore eh???), because whatever that's not good, don't say it even if you did not mean it. How many of us can be so bold as to correct someone else, and im glad she did. Blessed birthday to you, Mommy!!! You mean alot to me and even more to God.
LOL (this time it's "lot's of love" and not "laugh out loud"),
Birdy Thia, your daughter
Sunday, July 10, 2005
-7:18 PM
This week is my study break so I can spend more time with God and exercise more!!! ok, i had some funny dreams last night (not prophetic or anything), im saying it for fun. i dreamt that the the handle of my water bottle which the guys gave me for my birthday broke (it's Nalgene, it shouldn't break that easily) !!! and i know that i was so scared i started crying, not because the water bottle handle broke, but because i said that if anything happened to the water bottle(eg. lost or broken) within 1 year i will agree to go for make-over. i cant believe i cried man, im really that scared of going for a make-over meh??Anyway, coming to the Glory of God. i read finish the book on Glory which my TLBC friends bought, it's really inspirational. The Glory of God can be felt by our 5 senses, it's not just a spiritual feeling or impression, just like in the days of Moses. The church was built on Glory, but if we do not constantly consecrate ourselves, the Glory will depart graudually (sometimes we don't even realise it). THAT'S SCARY!!!! I do not know if the Glory has departed from my church but I WANT THE GLORY BACK!!!!!! To get God's Glory, there must be a very high level of consecration everyday, not just on Sundays ( that means no calling people a loser, no saying the word "shit" or "wth"...) and everyone must contend for that Glory. Can our church do it??? i believe that if we always worship with ALL our heart, mind, soul and strength EVERYDAY and prove ourselves faithful, God's Glory will come down eventually.
Saturday, July 09, 2005
-9:26 AM
I asked God for a heart like Jesus Christ, to feel for others and now i know how it really feels like. My motto in life was "the joy of the Lord is my strength" and i know how this verse works in my life. But when my friends feel sad... somehow i feel sad too. They don't say it, but i really just feel very sad and somehow i'll do what i can to make them feel better... is that why God said that ill be a comforter??? 1 thing i know is that, when you don't know what to say to comfort someone, PRAY; when the situation seems awkward, PRAY. i can have that joy in my heart, yet somehow i am also carrying the burden for my friends too. I just pray that whenever i comfort someone, it is the Holy Spirit speaking and not I speaking from my own flesh. And i pray that i would indeed be the comforter God said I would be. Amen
Tuesday, July 05, 2005
-5:41 AM
Today is the 5th day of the prayer and fasting period. This is my first time fasting and it's tough man!!! When i see my friends eating lunch, i just tell God to give me the discipline not to fall into temptation. It's even worse during lectures when u want to fall asleep and they pass around sweets. Why do we want to fast??? If only my non-christian friends knew that im fasting because i want them to experience God's power in their life and be saved from hell. What's sacrificing a little food so that God may be manifested in Singapore and I pray that God will incline His ears nearer to Earth and hear our heartcry desires for the nation to be saved. As each day passes, i feel that it is getting easier to fast. i really thank God for sustaining me man, because ill usually feel very faint and weak if i dun eat. "Turn your eyes upon Jesus"... when you turn your eyes to Jesus, all the things of the world will fade and grow strangely dim. Lord, may You really cause such a great breakthrough in Singapore as we honour You. Amen
Friday, July 01, 2005
-8:57 PM
woah, prayer concert yesterday at expo was awesome man!!! finally, i know my calling from the Lord.. to reach out to ALL groups of people in Singapore. I was still asking Shu-en that day which group of people in Singapore might God be leading me to. Yesterday God told me not to ponder about which group I have to reach out to, because it's going to be all groups of people in Singapore, so cool rite? And Shu-en had that calling from God to help me while she's still in Singapore.. before she goes out to missions in South Africa or something... I just cant wait to see God's hand on Singapore man!!! Amazingly, Shu and I saw a vision with the same meaning. Shu saw fireballs landing on Singapore and i saw light bursting through every window... it's REVIVAL time man! Our own informal prayer meeting on Wed (just eugene, sam, shu, kah wan and I) was superb too! Just some singing and praying and then God came into our midst. I tell u, now it's just so easy to hear God's voice and receive visions from Him, the visions are getting clearer too! and i believe that God is revealing His plans for Shu and me more and more.. everytime we pray, we just keep seeing visions and it's becoming the norm man.. it would be unusual if we do not get a word from the Lord. Thank you Daddy! During church camp i keep seeing the no 7 and a rainbow engraved on high rise buildings.. didn't know what that means, but i've finally understood what God meant after Wed's prayer meeting. Shu saw the no 7 too above a rainbow... 7 colours representing 7 promises of God.. now i know why i saw that rainbow. It never dawned on me that a rainbow had 7 colours. But no matter what, i pray that in everything I do i would please my heavenly Father. The more visions we receive, the more faithful we have to be in the things of the Lord... may I be found faithful Lord!! Amen!
